Needs and Wants

Lots of people have been excited to help Brenda and Becky get settled in Boise. There are some lovely people out there in the world and I am so glad that B & B are finally getting to see the good side of humanity. Many people have been asking me "What do they need?" "Is there something I can do to help?" And of course, the answer is yes. I have been keeping a running list of items that they need or mention that they want. I'll list it at the end of this post. But first, my personal moment of enlightenment -

sometimes wants are needs.

Does a person really need a swimming suit? What about fitted sheets? Tennis shoes? More than one fork per person? Towels that wrap around your body? A pillow? Clothes for different occasions? A nice hairstyle? 

As I survey the things that they need I'm finding that things I might think are unnecessary actually seem pretty important to feel like you belong in America. At least here in Boise. I've come up with a pretty lengthy list, and if you have the money or the means to shorten this list for them, just let me know.

THE LIST

Large Bath Towels

Laundry Bags

CD Player

Sauce Pans- one large, one small

Juice pitcher

Juice/Water Glasses

Silverware Set

Soft blankets

Bike Trailer to carry Becky + groceries

Sheet sets- Brenda has a double, Becky has a single, especially fitted sheets

Bed Pillows

Vaporizer- Becky is sick with a nasty cough right now :(

Thermometer

Clothes or gift cards for clothes (Brenda wears size 10-14 pants, Becky is around a child's size 6)

Tennis shoes for both (Brenda 7.5, Becky 12)

Round Table Cloth

All household items not covered by Food Stamps (soap, paper towels, TP, detergent, feminine hygiene, hair care, etc)

It's Monday, let's go to the YMCA!

I hated getting up this morning. As I heard the alarm sound I felt the weight of the week ahead and wished I could hide in the warm darkness of my room and stop what lies ahead.

But then I remembered my life is amazing. Even the parts I hate are coveted among many. I have a job I wish I didn't have to go to. I have a closet full of clothes to choose from, even though most of the pants don't fit. I have plenty of food, hence the pants problem. I have three children that I have to poke and prod to attend one of the best schools in the Northwest. I have a cold car to drive the short distance to work/school. Even my complaints can be seen as blessings.

Today I am going to pick Brenda and Becky up from Language Learning class and take them to the Downtown YMCA. Did you know the YMCA gives a FREE 3 month membership to refugees upon arrival in Boise? As a kid who grew up going to Learn to Swim week, Teen Leaders Club, Summer Camp, and establishing myself as an official "YMCA kid" I cannot say how much I love this organization. They even gave me my first full time career position after graduating from college. Please do all you can to support the wonderful things they do in the Boise community! http://www.ymcatvidaho.org/

BASIC NEEDS:
Many people have been so generously contacting me to ask if there are things that they can donate or do to help Brenda and Becky. It is a beautiful thing to be a part of this community effort to care for them. So, occationally I'll let you know here when I come accross things they are lacking. For now- Brenda and Becky need swimming suits and excersize clothes. If you'd like to donate cash or a gift card, please contact me. Leave a comment here and we'll connect.

First World Problems

I love the buzzing catch phrase "first world problems". My most recent favorite is this youtube clip featuring people in third world countries quoting ridiculous complaints of first world people. First World Problems Anthem

I am finding though, for a lady like Brenda, there are some serious challenges to everyday life in America. I've been keeping a running list as I observe these things and will try to share some of them so she will be able to recall these experiences later. At this point she is not able to read or write with proficiency, so this blog will serve as a journal for her to recall life in her first months in Boise.

So far, these are my observations:

• Going to a pet and garden store is amazing even in the dead of winter. But why would ANYONE keep a rat as a pet? "In Uganda, we keep away from rats because they are dirty!"
• Snow. Ice. Cold. Very different than Africa!
• Coins- what are the values? Try explaining why they have different pictures on coins of the same value, and why the small dime is worth twice that of the nickel and ten times the penny. American money is weird.
• Automatic car washes are incredible. "America is amazing! America is amazing!", says Brenda, the whole time we were in the carwash.
• The Drive Thru - Wendy's

Brenda:  "You talk in there?" pointing to the sign and speakers in the drive thru.

Me: "Yes, we tell them what we want here and pay at that window up there, and pick up our food at the second window."

Brenda: "Wow."

I hand her a cheeseburger and a frosty.

Brenda: "What's this called?"

Me: "Junior Bacon Cheeseburger"

Brenda: "It's my first one. I like."

• I read to Brenda and Becky everytime I see them. We look through Becky's kindergarten books and Brenda learns too. One night I was reading them the story "Oh the Places You'll Go" by Dr Seuss. Upon reading the page with darkness and a monster infested river Brenda stopped me and shared that there is a river between Uganda and DR Congo that looks like that. There was a monster in the water of the book and I can only imagine the monsters that she has seen. This is a mild and only one example of the matter of fact memories that are shared at any given moment. Brenda is an amazing survivor.
• Valentine's Day! A holiday of ridiculous proportion all about love! Brenda and Becky attended the Foothills School Valentine's Activity enjoying making cards with glitter, stick on hearts and cut paper doilies. We ate sweets (which Brenda can hardly tollerate) and decorated cookies to donate to local fire stations. Brenda laughed and said, "I am like a little kid!" as she decorated the cards. "But I never got to do this when I was a kid." Here is a picture of Becky making her valentines.
  
• What is a raffle? I bought Brenda some raffle tickets at the Valentine Party for a dessert prize. She was very confused how the whole process worked, but in the end she figured it out. SHE WON THE BEST CHOCOLATE CAKE EVER!
• Sugar is a treat, but Brenda can't stand it. I see her want to enjoy all the abundance of junk food that now surrounds her, but every time she takes a bite of something sweet she cringes. It's like she just bit into a lemon.
• White people don't stop their cars even when they see you. On a particularly cold/freezing evening Brenda and Becky were waiting for a taxi or bus to take them home from downtown. At this point Brenda is in drivers training, and plans to also learn to ride a bike this Spring. However, until she becomes independently mobile Boise does not have the most stellar public transportaion system. No busses or taxies came. They were walking, hands stinging they were so cold. Becky was crying. "All the white people smile at us from their cars and some wave, but none stopped." I tried to explain that in our culture we do not get into cars of people we don't know. Therefore, we do not expect people to get into our cars if we are strangers. Once I explained this, I know Brenda understood the logic, but it made me think twice about the next time I see refugees walking along the sidewalk in the cold.

More experiences to come.





Brenda and Becky

Ubrupt change occurs everyday. But not usually for me. However, last month I contacted the Agency for New Americans to find out how I could connect my 5th/6th grade class with the work they are doing for recently resettled refugees in Boise. Suddenly, two people have come into my life that feel like family.


This has been a project I've been working with this class on all year. First, I taught the class how a person becomes a refugee. What does that status mean? How is a refugee different from an illegal immigrant, someone displaced by natural disaster, economic migrant or environmental migrant?  In case you are not brushed up on the terms, the most important parts of the refugee definition are:

• Refugees have to be outside their country of origin
• The reasons for their flight has to be a fear of persecution
• The fear of persecution has to be well-founded
• The persecution has to result from one or more of the five grounds listed in the definition (race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group, or political opinion)
• They have to be unwilling or unable to seek the protection of their country

( From Refugees and Children in our World Lesson 4, www.unhcr.org)

Next, the class needed to connect with people in Boise who have been resettled here. Did you know that Idaho receives more refugees per capita than anywhere else in the United States?

Upon meeting with Yasmin Aguilar, the community coordinator at ANA, she immediately identified a perfect match for my class - Brenda and Becky, a congolese teen mom and her five year old daughter who was born in a refugee camp in Uganda. Brenda fled DR Congo when she was 12 and has not seen her parents or siblings since. She was 14 when she had Becky, and has spent every minute since working for their survival. They arrived to Boise at the very end of December 2012.

The hardships Brenda and Becky have faced are more difficult than I can comprehend. She tells me stories from her time in DR Congo and Uganda regularly, and each time I hear one I am amazed by this woman's resiliance. She has been through things that are unmentionable; and not just once or twice, the unmentionable was the norm. She is a testament to the goodness of the human spirit and an example of positivity and strength. She credits God.

In this blog I will attempt to document their new journey. As the author, I suppose much of the stories I share will also be my experiences with this treasured new friend. Let the adventure begin!